Sadness:

Reading over old emails from him to me should make me so unbelievably happy. I should revel in it. I should love the way he makes me feel. I should love the way he wrote about me, should adore the romantic gestures that he made, the time he put aside for me, all of it.

Wooing. The time he spent wooing me.

He made me feel so loved. How can anyone come back from that? How can I forget that?

How can I read the emails he sent me now, and then look at the emails he sent me then, and forget the way it was?

He wants to backpedal. But I, I haven't forgotten. I haven't forgotten the sweetness, the sadness, the wooing, the excitement and the joy.

He has fallen out of love with me. And it breaks my heart. Just a little bit.

He doesn't like kissing me. He pulls away.

And... it makes me so so so so so unbelievably sad. Reading these things. Remembering the way it was. And then remembering how it is now.

Not better. Necessarily. Different.

I try harder. And he tries... less.

He used to tell me all the time how sweet I was. How beautiful. How much he cared.

I think it's time to pull away a little bit.