Convo

me: it's not that, maybe

i just don't think he loves me enough to change

i don't know if we can get through this

Elysse: Listen I don't believe that an individual remains unchanged thru their lifetime

We are constantly changing

Even subtley

I think that in this situation he is already 'changed' I think fear just gets in the way

Fear of the unknown

Fear that he could care about you so much that he could be happy with you the rest of his life

That you are the person he fell in love with

The media hypes this stuff up so much that when it actually happens it is so scary

Kate the fact of the matter is

Having you in his life makes it harder to take the easy way out

And harder to become the better person that's inside him (that we all know is inside each one of us)

That may be scary for him (like it is for joe)

me: that was... possibly the best thing i've heard in a while

he can't pull his bullshit on me

he told me that

he said that i'm one of the two women in his life who he can't pull bullshit with

Elysse: Exactly!

me: the other being his ex-fiancee

Elysse: We call them out

me: which means that he has to take a long hard look at himself

if he wants to make this work

Elysse: That scares him!

He is afraid he's gonna get hurt again!

No matter how frequently you tell him otherwise its hard for him to internalize that!

me: yes.

yes.

you're right.