WHY when things keep going well, do I have to just straight-up fuck it up?!!? WHY can I be so insensitive and reckless with his feelings?! How did I think he was going to respond?
I can be such a pigheaded piece of shit crapbrain MEAN PERSON. Does Sean not spoil me rotten? Do I not appreciate it enough? WHY on earth do I think that these things I throw out there don't affect him... it's such bullshit and it's so damn rude and wrong of me.
We had such a lovely weekend and for the most part, week, and I have to go and cock it up....
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