Great Therapy

Dear god, I love you Dr. Goldman.

One thing that she brought up (which I think was really great, and I want to get it out here before I forget) is that Sean and I need to start helping each other through withdrawal / fears and insecurities instead of making them the other person's problem. Sean's always been like "you're being insecure" and I'm all "you're withdrawing" instead of actually trying to help each other through the problem. My fears and worries are real and concrete, no matter what their source, and Sean can help me not be afraid.

Instead of trying to fix our own issues, we can help each other WORK though the issues while we're actively working on them. We've never actively been like "How can I help you not withdraw" or "How can I help you not be scared". I think that it would really really REALLY help us.

Also, something that I realized in therapy is that Sean needs space after fights to process his emotions, and I need to allow him that instead of a) making him stay to hash it out or b) getting freaked out when he doesn't stay the night. So after a discussion, I need to let him go downstairs and watch TV or do laundry or take some space, but basically make the space okay so he doesn't have to go away for a whole night (even if he does, it's okay). But, at the same time, I need him to communicate with me and tell me things are okay... basically I can ask for his reassurance before I give him space. And I get to ask for it, and it gets to be okay.

I love him so much. I'm so hopeful for this year.