So, talking with my mother last weekend was immensely helpful, more so than I ever thought it would be - she gave me a lot of clarity and perspective, mostly making me realize that overthinking these things will be the doom of me.
Big points:
a) There's no magic formula regarding a percentage of time spent loving Sean and a percentage of time when he make-ah me cuhraaazeee. I can't say oh, he makes me happy 50% of the time, or, oh, he makes me happy 80% of the time. It's a gut feeling. And now, my happiness with Sean so completely outweighs the shitty times that all of the moments when I've thought "Oh, we should break up", they've been half-hearted.
b) Hating someone part of the time that you're in a relationship and not breaking up with them is NOT COMPROMISING YOUR HAPPINESS.
c) Compromising can be a very good thing. You kinda need it for relationships.
d) I have high expectations of people, which means I'm often disappointed.
e) I'm used to getting my way, which means I'm often disappointed.
f) When I'm let down and don't get my way and I'm disappointed, this is often when I grow the most.
Huh. Got it.
This weekend I would like to:
Sand some drawers
Clean the kitchen floor
Do laundry
Unpack my car and sort stuff
Start cutting my quilt
Take in Sean's shirts.
