This Weekend, Thoughts

So, talking with my mother last weekend was immensely helpful, more so than I ever thought it would be - she gave me a lot of clarity and perspective, mostly making me realize that overthinking these things will be the doom of me.

Big points:

a) There's no magic formula regarding a percentage of time spent loving Sean and a percentage of time when he make-ah me cuhraaazeee. I can't say oh, he makes me happy 50% of the time, or, oh, he makes me happy 80% of the time. It's a gut feeling. And now, my happiness with Sean so completely outweighs the shitty times that all of the moments when I've thought "Oh, we should break up", they've been half-hearted.

b) Hating someone part of the time that you're in a relationship and not breaking up with them is NOT COMPROMISING YOUR HAPPINESS.

c) Compromising can be a very good thing. You kinda need it for relationships.

d) I have high expectations of people, which means I'm often disappointed.

e) I'm used to getting my way, which means I'm often disappointed.

f) When I'm let down and don't get my way and I'm disappointed, this is often when I grow the most.

Huh. Got it.

This weekend I would like to:

Sand some drawers

Clean the kitchen floor

Do laundry

Unpack my car and sort stuff

Start cutting my quilt

Take in Sean's shirts.

Focus

So, this weekend was a bit of a hedonistic one (drinking, food- threeee damn bagels anyone? seriously?). Now it's back to serious game-face. This week, I will

a) read at least 200 pages of CLOUD ATLAS

b) get my other book club read from the library

c) ask for a raise

d) start cutting out my quilt

e) go to the gym three times

f) take in Sean's shirts

NO DRINKING - HEALTHY FOOD.

This Weekend, I Would Like To:

Go to the gym and use weights.

Cook something delicious with that chicken.

Spray-paint my bedside lamps.

Go to the Goodwill store in Davis.

Clean clean clean.

Change the sheets on my bed.

Go to TJMaxx and see if I can't get some fleece sheets.

No More Booze!

So I've challenged myself to not drink for the next 31 days. Or, by now, 26 days. That's a tall order, from someone who loves nothing more than a stemless wine glass filled with Sauvignon. But I've realized that I'm not so good about moderation, if I exercise any at all, and this realization has fueled the understanding that I just gotta quit cold turkey.

Surprisingly though (and perhaps this is only cause it's Day 3), I've found it easier than I thought. Removing the option altogether, instead of dithering and saying "Oh I'll try to cut back maybe I guess" has really just made things cut and dry for me. And bringing lots of people onboard, people who I would generally be drinking with (like Sean or Mum, or the galpals) has been very helpful because I've asked them all to support me and not encourage me to slip up.

It's going to be an experiment. I want to see how it affects my body. I want to see how I respond to it - I'm intrigued, really. No more hangovers? No more UTI's? Will my skin clear up? Will my belly pudge disappear?

But more importantly, I've never really quit anything before, and I want to know that I can. So here we go. Countdown - 26 days.

Crafty Goals, Mon

Crafty / decor-inspired goals for 2010 (yeah, yeah, I've posted this):

Paint a picture

Stretch silk scarves over canvas

Refinish bureau

Refinish chairs

Make a headboard

Finish quilt for self

Finish quilt for Sean

Craft a seed-bead cell necklace

Sew a dress

Sew a fleece yoga sweatshirt

Craft a fabric flower necklace

Start doing own Polaroid photography

Knit mittens

Paint bookshelves in bedroom

Fashion bulletin board for back of closet

Have a garden

Paint shelf mirror in bedroom

These are my goals. I'm going to work at accomplishing at least one a month. There are seventeen in all.

Woooooo!

Once Again - Goals

1. Make a headboard - refinish my bureau.
2. Sell a book.
3. Go to the gym at least three times a week.
4. Get a raise and save it - increase 401K, pay off more student loans.
5. Less expectation - more trust.

More Goals for 2010

Volunteer.
Make the fashion bulletin board on the back of my closet that I've been all antsy about.
Start a quilt for Sean.
Make a g-damn headboard! Did I say that already?

Use my dress form for something other than a jewelry holder.

Home Improvement Goals - 2010

Just because I love reading blogernators about home decor and the like, I've decided that I'm going to add some decorating/ crafting goals for 2010. Hopefully by the end of 2010, I might have my own apartment with a certain somebunny (not. jinxing. not jinxing. not jinxing), but either way, I've got goaaals for 2010.

a) FINALLY stain and finish my bureau - get handles for it as well
b) Buy new lampshades, etc. for my lamps
c) Refinish and paint my chairs so I have a full set of kitchen chairs in one color
d) Have a garden - grow lots of yummy herbs and veggies
e) Paint the crappy lil' bookshelf in my bedroom
f) Paint my shelf mirror (also in bedroom)
g) Finish a quilt for myself
h) Restain Sean's man-chair
i) Knit leg-warmers.