I.E. when he's withdrawing, I saw "I noticed you're withdrawing, and I suspect it's because I'm (smothering you, arguing with you). I'm feeling a little uneasy and weird right now, which is why I'm smothering. If you could just give me some reassurance or a hug, I will be in a better place to give you the space you need."
Wow. I can do that.
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