It's Gonna Be Good! I can sense it

Lovely evening last night, both at the gym and then hanging with Jason. I really did NOT enjoy my first motorcycle ride. I drooled. A lot.

But it was a good evening, and sleeping with Sean made it even better. I also really enjoyed talking to Mum. Once again, I don't want to be too dependent on Sean. I'm really trying to be better about staying apart, finding fulfillment with other people, and coming to him when we truly want to be together.

I love him more than words. I love him from the very depths of me. But it is also important that I love... me. Just me. Just me by myself, separate of all of this, apart from any other people.

I think this weekend is going to be wonderful. I'm excited to see Mum, and Grammy, and to work away on my quilt and craft projects. I'm excited to spend quality time with them both, to relax and take my time and be, just be, with other women, with no expectations, just relaxed and humming and sewing.

This morning, walking to work, I had one of those moments that doesn't come around too often, but feels entirely beautiful, and organic. It was the kind of moment where you're utterly captivated by the amazingness of life, as stupid as that sounds, where you're completely enthralled with anything and everything. Children on a scooter, the wind in the trees, a smiling homeless guy. Actually, it's not stupid. It's an acutely felt, perfectly realized moment where I can step out of myself and out of my head and think I'm here. I'm alive. I am lucky.




As a side note, thanks to Linda at Harvard Vanguard for exploring my options with blood tests, calling Dr. Shrinath AND the lab. What a peach.