Friday, October 23, 2009

Today Will Be A Good Day

Last night, I got to sleep next to Sean. And god, it felt good.

But it felt good after watching TV with Yola. And after checking out that sexpot at the gym (who followed me out again... yurm). And after having a frustrating, but good conversation with my mother (eh... kinda).

I talked to him this morning about some of the thoughts I've been having. Not going in depth, but certainly discussing my feelings and the thought process I've been following since Tuesday.

He said "I'm sorry it's been such a shitty week". And I agree.

I'm not wasting time worrying about his ex, or his female friends, or that he doesn't love me.
Because what we're working on now is ME loving me, not him. I know he loves me. And if he doesn't, there's not much I can do to change the situation. The only person whose love I should be worrying about right now is my own.


So I'm taking this weekend in stride. Yes I want to spend time with him. But I'm excited to see Meg, see Ally Cohan, go to some parties, putter, work on my costume. And yes, to see him too.


I am goddam Buddha right now. Centering myself. Om om om. Nothing's going to bring down my mood today.


FUCK YOU RACHEL.


Okay, just had to get that off my chest.

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